Jerboa Lit 500’s Second Contest

Having thoroughly enjoyed my first go-around with Beginner’s Luck, Jerboa Lit 500’s Second Contest had the following prompts:

GENRE: Road Trip / Quest
ITEM: Straight razor
PHRASE: friends we don't see anymore

We had a few days to write a 500-word flash fiction piece around these prompts, and I wrote most of this story on a road trip of my own, outside of a Starbucks in Kanazawa — one of the most beautiful places in Japan — and finished it on a bus to Kyoto.

I wrote Fuckups to be a strong, gritty piece relayed in a clear voice. I wanted it to be direct and compelling, drawing the reader in from the first sentence, to explore an unspoken relationship between three ex-cons (Charlie, Otis, and Earl). As Earl’s dead, the story revolves around Charlie patching things up with Otis.

The story hinges on the long-standing connections between these men, forged in the crucible of an Idaho corrections facility in the early 80s. Charlie was the one Earl kept in touch with after ‘83, and the man Preacher Joe called when Earl died, solidifying his role as the anchor in the trio.

Charlie and Earl’s bond takes center stage in the story, even after Earl's death. Written in Charlie’s POV, his internal monologue reveals a deep loyalty to Earl — "Earl was the bravest fuckup I knew" — offering a blend of admiration for Earl's courage and an acknowledgement of his flaws, realism born of their shared experiences. Charlie’s guilt over Earl's suicide ("swallowing guilt, I side-eye Otis,") speaks to the weight he carries and his sense of responsibility for their connection that eroded over time.

Charlie, seeing Otis as he is (and alive), undergoes a quiet reawakening at Earl’s funeral. The funeral underscores the enduring, if dormant, power of their shared past. The ending, with Charlie promising to call, and Otis's "eyes narrow, measuring whether I mean it," is a poignant, hopeful note, suggesting a rekindling of a forgotten friendship. Their relationship offers the most dynamic arc within the story.

Preacher Joe serves as an external force, a mediator, a guide, and a moral compass, albeit one with a uniquely "fuckup"-friendly theology that might rail against traditional Catholic dogma. Earl committed suicide, and suicide (as you might know) is a sin, which may deny you entry into the Pearly Gates and send you directly to Hell. But Earl did good things, and that’s what he (and the story) tries to address. It’s a compassionate view of a man who made bad choices, and who’d still be welcome in the company of Christ. Joe, a pragmatic person, rushes the sermon because of the heat (pushing urgency in the flash form), but he’s well aware of Charlie’s guilt towards losing touch with Earl, and reinforces Charlie’s connection with Earl on the exit.

Critically, upon re-reading, there’s a lot of telling in this story; I needed to fit the story within the word constraints. Where Charlie’s internal monologue is effective, I wish I had exploited more opportunities to show Charlie's guilt through actions or brief sensory details rather than direct statements. The predominance of telling over showing may have put the story in the HM pile and prevented it from advancing; I’ll have to wait for the feedback.

Overall, I had a great time writing the story. I feel the emotional core is solid, driven by honest, complex relationships. Earl’s death makes his part of the story unreconcilable, but Otis and Charlie still remain, and Charlie vows to do something about it. I think the story explores themes of loyalty, sacrifice, redemption, and the enduring power of past connections (friends we don’t see anymore), even among men who have "fucked up.” And who among us hasn’t?

Fuckups Are Welcome, All The Same won Honorable Mention in Jerboa Lit’s 500 Challenge. Thanks so much, Jerboa Lit!

Thanks for reading.

R